Shake What Your Mamma Gave Ya

My bridesmaids were pretty awesome about keeping me in the dark when it came to my bachelorette plans. I knew there was an activity, followed by dinner and then out and about. I didn’t know where any of this stuff was happening.

I was told to wear something easy to move in for our activity. I did as I was told and made sure I was already dressed when I went to my hair trial. I was running late after my meeting with Rebecca, so after some quick hugs I threw some things into my suitcase and headed out to the door (this little piece of nonsense is pertinent to the story, I swear) with my girlfriends. It was hard not knowing where we were going since I am usually the driver/navigator when my college friends come to Long Island. In an effort to not ruin the surprise, they had to get around without my directional help.

My sister pulled up to a familiar location. Diva Fit Studios in Massapequa. I had been to the studio twice before for other bachelorette parties. Diva Fit specializes in pole dancing fitness classes and we were there to let our inner stripper loose. I was super excited. I tried to toss my body issues aside along with my inability to dance and embrace my awkward self as I attempted to shake my huge butt in a somewhat erotic manner. I had a touch of confidence being that I had been to the studio before and remembered a lot of the choreography that the instructor uses for these classes. By no means do I have a pole dancing career ahead of me, but it was still a heck of a lot of fun and an amazing workout as evident by my sore biceps.

My future mother-in-law and my mother at Z Pita

After some confusion as to the best way to get to our next location, the girls finally confessed to me that we were heading to Port Jefferson for our dinner and partying location. I took on my comfortable roll as navigator. One of my bridesmaids had booked a room at Danfords, the only hotel in the village and that would be our getting ready location. I had never been to Danfords, but it was an awesome hotel, with the coolest bathrooms I’ve ever seen. After finally deciding on which of the three shirts I would be wearing, I dig through my suitcase to find my jeans. I move some stuff around and come up pantless. My jeans were still at my mom’s house. Who forgets pants?? Honestly! Calls were made and eventually, my sister and mother arrived with my jeans in tow.

Dinner was eaten at Z Pita, which is primarily Greek fare. I had never eaten there before, but I had heard great things. I was so happy to see how many people came out to dinner. My bridesmaids did an amazing job with providing fun beaded necklaces, pins and a sash for me, the MOB and the FMIL. It was a nice way of saying, “Hey! I’m getting married!” without all of the blinking penises.

Port Jeff is a great place to go bar hopping, but our top priority was finding a place that we could bring one of my friends into since she’s three months shy of 21. She had no interest in drinking, but wanted to spend the night with us. And I wanted her there, too. The first bar we went to turned her away. We were bummed, but it worked out for the best because we wandered over to Tequila Jackswhere the music was blasting. TJ is a restaurant so we had no problems bringing in my underage friend. There was live reggae  music and the dance floor was packed.

I got caught shaking my ass by a couple of old coworkers.

It wasn’t long before the lead singer found out there was a bachelorette in the house and proceeded to let everyone know. For someone who writes for a living and has a pretty public life, I’m actually pretty shy and have a hard time being the center of attention. But, this time I had so much fun and I was laughing so hard that I didn’t even care that an entire room was focused on me. Thankfully, aside from a couple of other men that wanted to “kiss the bride to be” as my pin suggested (no worries, kisses were replaced with hugs) I was out of the public eye. My thunder was completely stolen once an actual bride walked in. I didn’t mind at all.

The night ended with me crashing at one of my bridesmaids house, but only after a friend brought me some contact solution in a plastic container since along with my jeans I forgot that too. I was tired, sore, a little tipsy and so, so very happy.  The weekend was topped off with a quick trip to the beach, where I got to put my toes in the sand and smell the salty air for the first time in 6 months. It was worth the awkward farmer’s tan I now have.

I had an amazing and wonderful day. I’m so thankful for all of my friends and family who worked so hard to put it together. I really couldn’t ask for anything different. I really am so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.


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