An RSVP Rant & an Apology

For those that are avid readers of my blog, I first say thank you!!!! and I want to apologize for being a bit scatter brained lately.

Usually I post on Tuesdays and Fridays, but lately they’ve been coming a day or so late. In fact, this post is being written at my favorite deli on my lunch break because I wasn’t been able to write anything between Tuesday and Thursday night. Between day job, night job, gym, eating and sleeping sometimes I just can’t keep up. So bear with me as I attempt to regroup and get back on track.

One of the reasons why I didn’t get a chance to write anything yesterday is because I had a phone date with one of my bridesmaids. Vee and I try to chat every couple of weeks to catch up and gossip. I know that after March these dates will be few and far between because she’ll be a new mommy.

Last night we got into a 20-minute-long rant about people who don’t RSVP. So many blog posts have been dedicated to RSVP etiquette that there’s really not much more that I can offer, but I wanted to share my frustration. Vee explained that for her own wedding she had at least four people show up who did not RSVP and I should expect that it will likely happen at mine too. I haven’t even printed my invitations yet and I’m already pissed off because I know that come May 15 I will still be waiting on people to RSVP.

People, this is rude. I don’t care how casual your wedding is, head counts are needed for a purpose. There is a dollar sign attached to your head. You are costing me money. The magic catering fairies don’t come down and pay for your meal. I do and those heads add up. And at $150 a plate (not my cost, but it is the average for a Long Island wedding) just a few people makes a HUGE cost difference.

Not for nothing, but it also costs money to print RSVP cards. It costs money to address RSVP envelopes. Stamps don’t come two for one when you send out wedding invites. That stamp I’m attaching to that little envelope cost me 44 cents. Considering the money I’m spending on that little card, I’d like my guests to take advantage of it. I want you to fill it out and send it back to me. A call, Facebook message or email doesn’t count. I want that little card back in my hand on or before the date that is listed.

I guess the big question is how do you handle these non-RSVPers? My plan is to divvy up the list and harass the invitee in a passive aggressive sort of way. “Hi Aunt So and So, I was wondering if you were eating at my wedding. Well, I don’t know if you’re coming so how do I know if you’ll be eating?” I will handle my friends, Chuck will handle his and our moms will handle our respective family. Sure, I want to just ignore it and tell them to eff off when they show up at the wedding, but I’m all talk. I’d never actually do it.

Now if you happen to have the balls to RSVP yes and then not show up, without a good reason, or even a heads-up phone call as to why, I should be able to kick you in the face. I understand that there are extenuating circumstances. I have had many conversations with brides that began with, “Listen, there is a chance that I might have to back out at the last minute…” and these brides understand my particular situation and how there are certain things in my life that are out of my control (sorry to be so vague, but I promised to leave this part of our life private). But if you just don’t feel like showing up that day, or you have the sniffles or if your kid was being extra cranky then you could give me the money you just cost me, or I could kick you in the face. At my friend’s wedding, she had a family of five not show up for the most childish reason I have ever heard. Reason aside, that disrespectful move cost my friend $625.

Vee and I continued ranting until I realized that I never formally RSVP’d for her babyl shower this weekend. Sure she knew that I wouldn’t be able to make the trip long before I even got her invite, but a quick note within longer Facebook message goes against everything we were just ranting about.

I guess even I’m not RSV Perfect.


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