My Awesomely Tacky Wedding

Let’s be honest. My wedding is shaping up to be a pretty tacky event. At least by most social standards that is.

It kind of makes me laugh. I mean, Chuck and I are encouraging people to wear ugly Hawaiian shirts to our wedding reception. We won’t have a DJ and we aren’t serving liquor (of course we’ll have beer and wine, but our guests will have to drink the hard stuff at home). Our invitations will be printed at Walmart or with my printer and I’m seriously considering doing online RSVPs to save on postage and also on paper.

I belong on My Fair Wedding. David Tutera would have a field day with me. In fact, one of my bridesmaids admitted that she tried to sign me up for the show, but he wasn’t casting Long Island brides. It made me laugh because I’d probably get on it if they were.

I know many of the brides coming across this blog probably thought the same thing, and honestly, I don’t blame you.

I read so many posts about how weddings are a formal events and call for a certain level of sophistication. Let’s separate the wedding and the reception for a moment. Many weddings are formal events including strict religious or cultural customs, but how many wedding receptions are really that formal?

How many weddings have you been to that have more than a handful of wasted family members dancing inappropriately? Or, have paraded around the room with a straw sombrero and plastic maracas? Better yet, how many weddings have you been to where the groom dives under the bride’s dress does some dirty stuff under there before tossing the garter to a gaggle of his drunk friends. His drunk friend then gets egged on by his other drunk friends to go “HIGHER” as he slips the garter up the leg of a complete, and probably equally wasted, stranger.

Despite a fancy evening gown and a suit, a wedding reception isn’t a formal event by any means. It’s raucous debauchery and oh so much fun.¬†Despite how awesomely tacky my wedding is going to be, I realized the other day that I know for a fact that I’m going to have an equally awesome time. I’m confident I’m going to have the best time of my life.

The best times I’ve had with my family are those spent around a large dinner table or in the backyard with the barbecue going. The best times I’ve had with my friends were usually spent in pajamas, at the diner, in someone’s childhood bedroom or in our infamous suite, Dammann 3-7.

Maybe I’ll be missing some fancy center pieces and my music will be played from my laptop, but I know for damn sure, everyone is going to have a blast.

Bring on the debauchery.


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