To Annouce or Not to Annouce

The question of whether Chuck and I should A) send out engagement announcements and B) have an engagement party hasbeen on the table for a couple of weeks now.

Announcing the Engagement

I had no intentions of sending out save the dates. For me, they’re a waste of postage. We’re not getting married on a holiday and we’re not getting married in a foreign country. There is also the obligation to invite those that you asked to save the date. Well, what if we’re over budget and I have to cut the guest list? Those that we want to save the date, will know about the engagement and the date. No need to kill trees.

Then I spoke to my cousin Emily.

I wished her a happy birthday via Facebook and then mentioned that Chuck and I are planning for June 4 to have the wedding and she better keep her weekend clear.

Her reaction was, “WHAT??!! I didn’t even know about the engagement!”

Oh. Oops.

I just assumed that everyone knew at this point since we’ve been engaged a month and a half.

Which brings up my second point. Is it too late to announce the engagement?

In our case, I think we get a little leeway. We got engaged and then moved to North Carolina two weeks later. During that time I’ve been working at a new job, Chuck has been trying to find a job and we were waiting to move in to our new apartment, which we only just did less than a week ago.

It wasn’t like we sat around for two months just procrastinating.

I thought about tossing our engagement in with our new address. Well, it’s not like we have a new house. Just an apartment that we are leasing for 13 months. We’re not even sure we’ll be here this time next year. Is it worth sending out a “we’ve moved” announcement?

Maybe we’ll just kill some trees, keep the United States Postal Service working and send out some announcements.

Celebrating the Engagement

We’ve been planning to have an engagement party since we got engaged. Why shouldn’t we celebrate our impending nuptials? The problem is the guest list. Where do you draw the line between the engagement party guest list and the wedding party guest list? If you have a big family, suddenly your engagement party ends up being a pre-wedding party and costing a couple of grand.

My parents offered to host the party and took the opportunity to hound me about the guest list the few days they were here in Raleigh. When we discussed the topic briefly, Chuck’s parents mentioned that their invitees would amount to a handful of people as most of their family is out of town.

My parents brought up a good point. The reason to have an engagement party is to introduce two families, but if only one family is attending then who are you introducing? If that’s the case, they would rather put the money toward their wedding contribution unless it was very important to us to have a party.

Chuck’s pretty set on having a party so looks like we have to figure out the guest list.

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2 thoughts on “To Annouce or Not to Annouce

  1. Since I only recently went through all of this, here is what we did. We had an engagement party but it was held at the Holiday Inn (on vets) on a Sunday morning and we did breakfast. Breakfast cut the cost by a huge chunk. We only invited about 50 people there total where the wedding we invited 200. We felt like it was silly to invite everyone because in a sense it would be just like a wedding then. So we kept it to immediate family only. No second cousins, no one can bring kids. No dates (only if you were with someone for a significant amount of time) and only 1 table of friends, mostly the friends we saw every weekend and were very close to. It was hard cutting the guest list to 50 people but its what we had to do on a budget. Also, we did send out engagement announcements, but we coupled them with “we moved” announcements as well since we had recently moved into an apartment. We sent them out a couple months after the engagement so don’t worry about the timing. People understand you’re busy. If you don’t want to send out annoucements, what about an email annoucement? If you want to make it multi use annoucements then that’s fine. I recently got one from a friend that was a “Happy Holidays”, “We Got Engaged!” and “Save the Date!” all in one. I did not think it was tacky but instead thought “wow what a smart way to save money and trees!” However, I have known people who never sent out annoucements. I don’t think its necessary, same with save the date and it is true that if you send a save the date, you pretty much have to invite them to the wedding. So be careful! Also, I made annoucements at costco for like .19 each or something like that. That made it much easier and cheaper to send them out. I hope some of this helps.

    • Thanks for all the advice Jess! I think we might do what you did and pair our announcement with our we’ve moved address. Even if we’re just in our apartment a year, we will be moving out after our wedding so I guess it all works. We may be able to cut our guest list down to about 60 people, but it’s tough. I have a big family and we’re about 40 just on one side lol.

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